August 15' 2014
I feel like I'm getting older. I'm more decisive, more confident, and more steady than I've ever been. I know myself, I know other people, and I know life.
I look in the mirror, and the thing that's different now than back a year or two ago, is that I see a grown man who knows his place, his ability, his talent, his mission, and his purpose in life and in living. I see a man who is becoming tired of making the same mistakes over and over; a man who no longer fights against the odds and who has settled into the circumstances of fate.
Stability, is what the rest of the world calls it.
But is this what I want? It's dawning on me that I'm getting everything I want, but as I get it the desire disappears. It's replaced with another desire, then another. In the back of my mind I still wonder if I shouldn't be doing something better with my time, if I shouldn't be settling with the valuable things in my life--my family, my job, my house.
I guess, the troubling thing for me is feeling that I'm not just here to live a good life. I feel strongly that my life is not worth a 5 day a week job, some time with my family, with friends, and cruising from one day to the next. I need something more than that.
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