Dear baby
On a different note, I thought that I should share a few thoughts about my work and the personal conclusions and decisions I've made concerning it.
Until now, from the day my potential career became a reality, I've contemplated (have even been quite troubled) as to how far I was willing to go for it. The most recent conclusion I made is that if I wanted to put career above family I should have chosen to remain single. My career may suffer for a lifetime at its worst, but my family could suffer for my wrong actions for generations. And everyone knows, apart from a few millionaires, that family is unquestionably more important than career.
Seeing that I'm on the side of setting value and investing worth in family I've decided to rise to the challenge of meeting the giants of poverty face-to-face. The freakiest thought to any true man is being unable to care for his family. Being unable to do so cuts at the core of his manliness and self-confidence. Which is why I guess we have a tendency to swing the pendulum too far towards career rather than family. We make the excuse that career brings financial security, and that that is our number-one duty to our family.
So, though it's a little bit of a scary risk for me to say no to some work demands because of family needs, I've concluded that I don't really have a choice. My family comes before work.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
2. Letter to You
Dear baby
I'm writing this back-to-back with the letter before. Kazuma's awake now and is rolling about in his walker, reveling in the thought of feeling like the big boys in the TV room watching the big-boy stuff on the big screen.
He gets real excited with change of scenery. After being with you for a while, if I take him his face is aglow. Then when he's been with me for a while, if one of the kids is eager to play with him his face lights up again. It happened with the nursery rhymes this morning. When I put him in front of the TV with his older brothers he couldn't have been happier.
I'm so happy we decided to have him. He's the most amazing gift anybody can even think to have. A moving, feeling, reacting, and expressing life-form that becomes bigger and smarter and even more active as time goes by. It's an incredibly huge responsibility to have and care for a baby, but equally as breath-taking and rewarding to watch him grow and develop into something that is so far beyond our intelligence to control.
It's exciting to think about looking back years from now at his most difficult years, our boys who'll be teenagers looking back too, and seeing how things have changed. It's mind-boggling just thinking about years from now. Too many things are out of our control, but if we make the best decisions we possibly can we'll have the rights to say that we did the best we could.
I'm writing this back-to-back with the letter before. Kazuma's awake now and is rolling about in his walker, reveling in the thought of feeling like the big boys in the TV room watching the big-boy stuff on the big screen.
He gets real excited with change of scenery. After being with you for a while, if I take him his face is aglow. Then when he's been with me for a while, if one of the kids is eager to play with him his face lights up again. It happened with the nursery rhymes this morning. When I put him in front of the TV with his older brothers he couldn't have been happier.
I'm so happy we decided to have him. He's the most amazing gift anybody can even think to have. A moving, feeling, reacting, and expressing life-form that becomes bigger and smarter and even more active as time goes by. It's an incredibly huge responsibility to have and care for a baby, but equally as breath-taking and rewarding to watch him grow and develop into something that is so far beyond our intelligence to control.
It's exciting to think about looking back years from now at his most difficult years, our boys who'll be teenagers looking back too, and seeing how things have changed. It's mind-boggling just thinking about years from now. Too many things are out of our control, but if we make the best decisions we possibly can we'll have the rights to say that we did the best we could.
1. Letter to You
Dear baby
That's to you, Honeybuns, not to the baby that got me up at 6:20 this morning. I'm writing this as he sleeps soundly atop the chairs in the kitchen. Somehow I'm able to keep a few of my routines even after his coming--like writing an occasional journal or letter to you like this.
It's been a while, though, since writing you on this blog. We've become much busier parents since Kazuma came. He's a whole job in himself now, and is proving to be quite the challenge. When he was more little and less experimental, you were able to continue to do most of the things around the house. But now I realize that he often needs constant attention. And his eyes are so big and coordinated, that he expresses what he wants and doesn't want in a really irresistible sort of way. He necessitates personal care.
I see how he's gradually become a full-time care-for-me machine. And he exhausts you as you carry him in one arm while cooking, cleaning, and doing the laundry; not to mention the shorter naps and shorter attention span.
I'm sorry that I didn't completely understand all this until this weekend. Well, you've been sick, and I took him for much of the day yesterday; had taken him outside with the boys too. By doing so I realized a few things. A part of me didn't know what to expect and just reacted on impulse. Again, I'm sorry, and I'm thankful that you've taken the enormous changes with his coming so well.
You're like a rock that doesn't move. It gets rattled and shaken easily, but over the 5 and a half years of knowing you your personality has proven to be an immovable rock.
That's to you, Honeybuns, not to the baby that got me up at 6:20 this morning. I'm writing this as he sleeps soundly atop the chairs in the kitchen. Somehow I'm able to keep a few of my routines even after his coming--like writing an occasional journal or letter to you like this.
It's been a while, though, since writing you on this blog. We've become much busier parents since Kazuma came. He's a whole job in himself now, and is proving to be quite the challenge. When he was more little and less experimental, you were able to continue to do most of the things around the house. But now I realize that he often needs constant attention. And his eyes are so big and coordinated, that he expresses what he wants and doesn't want in a really irresistible sort of way. He necessitates personal care.
I see how he's gradually become a full-time care-for-me machine. And he exhausts you as you carry him in one arm while cooking, cleaning, and doing the laundry; not to mention the shorter naps and shorter attention span.
I'm sorry that I didn't completely understand all this until this weekend. Well, you've been sick, and I took him for much of the day yesterday; had taken him outside with the boys too. By doing so I realized a few things. A part of me didn't know what to expect and just reacted on impulse. Again, I'm sorry, and I'm thankful that you've taken the enormous changes with his coming so well.
You're like a rock that doesn't move. It gets rattled and shaken easily, but over the 5 and a half years of knowing you your personality has proven to be an immovable rock.
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