I will continue to love you

  Good morning, baby, on this beautiful morning! It's my last day of work this year, and I'm so excited about our 4 consecutive holidays from tomorrow. I know that they will pass quickly, as all fun days do, but I know that I will enjoy them.
  This year has truly been a good one. The few years of my life with you have been the best. I have not felt more fulfilled and challenged than I have while being with you. I can honestly say that you have given to my life exactly what it has lacked all this time. For which reasons and many more I want to marry you.
  On the 28th of December, 2011, in the hustle 'n bustle of the Christmas and New Year season, we became legally married. We virtually forced our marriage papers through. So from now on Christmas will be a special time for us.
  I want to tell you again that I love you with all my heart. My love has not changed from when we first met. And I will continue to love you.

Merry Christmas, baby

  It's been quite a hectic month of pneumonia, colds, fevers, chicken-pox, and chronic coughs amidst the busiest month of the year for both of the companies we work in. I have to admit that it's been difficult keeping the closeness between us and the romance alive, and it's been more of a struggle to stay above water than in previous months, but Christmas is here, and today I've been reminded that there is nothing better and no better a feeling than to be with family celebrating such a warm festivity as Christmas.
  Today, on Christmas day, I'm reminded of the most important thing in life--family.

Our relationship

"Don't hold on to love too tight for you may strangle it."

  I think we've done a good job at this. It could just be the reason we are still together. Our relationship gives us space to think and feel; it certainly doesn't suffocate us. 

  I know that we both sometimes feel that a part of our relationship started off because of practical conveniences. A part of it, yes. But I think our relationship is exactly what it's supposed to be to the benefit of ourselves, our boys, and those around us. More specifically, we are discovering ourselves more and becoming better, more useful, people. Our boys are steps ahead of us because of our mistakes. Our friends and family know that we are human, that we help each other out. And that's what I think life is--people. 

  

A poem I wrote for you a year and a half ago

Written 2010'5'18

I’m thinking about you

I’m thinking about you…
I didn’t think that I’d feel so alone without you at my side
That my love for you would grow into such a beautiful thing
I didn’t think that in you I would really confide
I am learning, and for you my love is growing; to you I want to cling

I’m thinking about you…
The thought of going home to you is a thought of sheer bliss
I cannot wait to see you—I miss you so much
I picture your face; your lips I want to kiss
Baby, oh baby, I want to feel your touch

I’m thinking about you…
I want to go home and see your smile
To hold your face and stroke your hair
I want to walk with you for miles and miles
No matter where the path takes us, I don’t care

I’m thinking about you…
I remember the fun times, the good times that we’ve shared
I remember the not so pleasant times
The times that you flared

I’m thinking about you…
I appreciate the hard times—they have drawn us closer
Risk and thrill make us feel alive
Just like the rollercoaster

I’m thinking about you, I’m thinking about you, I’m thinking about you

For you Baby

I am still so into you

This whole week of being away from work due to the flu and looking through these photo's reminds me how much I am still into you

Editor: It wasn't the flu; it was pneumonia, and it lasted from Nov.23- for roughly 2 weeks

You and me

Remember this, baby. We were always the best ballooning team in our home

Attempt at wise words

  In the stillness of the morning, where peace and tranquility abound, there still comes a time not too late that the quietness is shattered by screams and cackles of brightly awakened children. The life of a family man and a mother of 2+ is not a life to be sought for unless ready.
  I know we sometimes both don't feel ready, though perhaps more-so for you than for me. But then as a wise man once said, "No one feels ready."

Letter from Fay

Written: 10'19

  Hi baby. Txs for all you do for us, I know you have been going through it this past year with all the changes and the way we had to adjust our lives, and as you being the man of the house, I know you have had the pressure and the burden to provide for us. And you have. You have done so without murmuring  or complaining. For that I am so happy, so happy to be on this path, this journey with someone that I love and is so responsible to take care of us. 

  Even though you are so young you don’t seem that young, you seem like someone that has been though a lot in his younger years and has experienced lot's of things. And now you know what you want. You have a way of just getting things done if you think you need to improve in that area. You also have a way to let things out if you are going through something. But me, I don’t really have a way to let things out.  Im not good at talking or writing how I feel, so I just keep it all inside and then when I'm about to burst I cry and cry, cause I don’t have people to talk to.

   I wanna be more busy; to not be lazy. I feel like I should be doing more to make money for us, to be able to save up money for the things that we need. Or want.

   But there are so many things that I haven’t done b4, and im a bit scared. I wanna get a job, but I know it has to be the way you want it. It has to fit into your schedule.  You want it to be like this and like that, but I wanna flap my wings a bit and really do what I wanna, the way others out there do it. I don’t wanna be a mother that stays home all day and just waits on her husband and kids all day, like a servant. I wanna experience things, I'm not saying that I'm not happy to do some of them sometimes,  I'm ok with it cause that’s what mothers do.  But I really wanna do something, something with my life. With my time, something that I can show.

  I was thinking about KFC, but I don’t know it I will be happy there cause of all the boys that work there, its seem like such a sad job, I mean maybe I will like it,  but I would rather work at costco but I know you will say no, I know that already, but I want you to think about it. I know it will be hard, expecually on you cause I will work weekends, but this is something I wanna try, I don’t know I might not like it but I might, I never know. But I just wanna do something. Something with my life. 

  I know im not good at saying it in words,  and you might not exactly understand the way that I feel. But pls try to, pls pls consider it, if not there, can you look up a places that’s good 4 me.

  Even if I just work there for a few months. And we can reevaluate it. I don’t know. I just feel like I need to get this off my chest. Txs for listening . I love you.

Oct.16--Letter from Fay

Happy Anniversary! Baby!

  I can't believe it has come around already so fast. It seems like it's only been a year or so from when we have met, but it has been 3 years, 3 whole years, we did it baby.

  In the 3 years that we have been together we have learned so much and have done so many things. I'm so glad that I could live them, learn them, and do them with you. You have made me feel so whole, so alive, so spcial. Thank you so much for making me feel special and for making us a real family. You mean so much to me even though I may not show it sometimes. But you know how I feel, in all the things that I do, even though I don't say it in words... I know you can feel, how I feel about you, sorry I don't say it as much as I should. Ahhh I'm so bad at expressing how I feel. Ahhh, sorry, anyways, I hope I can continue to make you happy. I like making you happy.

  I wanna make this day, another fun page in the memories of our lives. Let's have fun and have fun together and enjoy each other company. Let's open with another page for another year. A new year of learning and growing together. I'm confident we can do it together. We have already been doing good so far I think...
  Don't you? I'm sure we have lot's more to still learn. But we can do it! I'm sure of it.

                 I LOVE YOU! BABY!
                                 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Happy Anniversary!!

  I know that you do not think as deeply about life as I do, but I am happy that you don't. Because sometimes my thoughts are too extreme and they become my reality, and then you help me to realize that it doesn't need to be that way.
  A big part of my life would be depressing without you. You bring such joy by just being you, that I feel ashamed for all the times that I tried to change you.

One of Promise and Hope

  I don't understand the concept of fate and destiny and choice. When I was younger I thought I understood, but as the years go by I realize that I know less and less.

  ...I have more unanswered questions, less theories, and thus, more frustrations. Despite my frustrations, I've scrambled one conclusion--that I'm not meant to fully understand.

  So I've given up my deep thoughts and have turned them to ones of my family and our future; real down-to-earth thoughts; ones of logic and realism; futuristic and old-age thoughts.

  Having turned 25, I feel no more capable of facing my life then the year before. But I think that I've already accepted that I'll never feel those comforting thoughts, nor do I want to. I feel that I'm behind 10 years than that of an average successful person, but I'm hoping to catch up--to make 20 years of progress in 10.

  Thank you for helping me out, babe, and for making the 1st year of our new life together on our own one of promise and hope.

It's nice to live for the weekends, to look forward to two special days with you and the kids all week long. The feeling that comes when the long week is over is an incredible one.

  I missed you today. I was at work and was thinking about you, about us. I wondered what the good reasons were of us committing to live our lives together, of getting married, and sticking it out for the long haul. My thoughts went immediately to our likes and dislikes--how our tastes for things have a lot in common. We can enjoy a lot of the same things.

You are sooo hot, baby!!

Such good memories!!

  Hi baby, good morning! I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I feel like flaunting you to the world. I would if it weren't for my great humility. ha

Thoughts on Marriage

  I think that marriage is a journey, that it shouldn't be complete at its onset. It would soon lose its flavor and excitement. It would lose its incompleteness which is essential, I feel, in giving us the sense of need to continue to progress and not get overly comfortable.
  You know how it's said that anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well, the more incompleteness and need for change in two people who have committed to being with each other, in my books, is an opportunity to have a worthwhile journey, if they will stay true to each other and not give up when times get tough.

  Sweetie, I'm happy that we're complete in being incomplete. In my mind, I've married you already and I see years ahead of us. I enjoy the thought of continuing this journey of discovering and experiencing you. Being incomplete myself, and knowing that you feel incomplete too, makes our relationship with each other a meaningful journey.

Even Fonder Memories

These photo's are not in order of date, but are fond memories