Written: 10'19
Hi baby. Txs for all you do for us, I know you have been going through it this past year with all the changes and the way we had to adjust our lives, and as you being the man of the house, I know you have had the pressure and the burden to provide for us. And you have. You have done so without murmuring or complaining. For that I am so happy, so happy to be on this path, this journey with someone that I love and is so responsible to take care of us.
Even though you are so young you don’t seem that young, you seem like someone that has been though a lot in his younger years and has experienced lot's of things. And now you know what you want. You have a way of just getting things done if you think you need to improve in that area. You also have a way to let things out if you are going through something. But me, I don’t really have a way to let things out. Im not good at talking or writing how I feel, so I just keep it all inside and then when I'm about to burst I cry and cry, cause I don’t have people to talk to.
I wanna be more busy; to not be lazy. I feel like I should be doing more to make money for us, to be able to save up money for the things that we need. Or want.
But there are so many things that I haven’t done b4, and im a bit scared. I wanna get a job, but I know it has to be the way you want it. It has to fit into your schedule. You want it to be like this and like that, but I wanna flap my wings a bit and really do what I wanna, the way others out there do it. I don’t wanna be a mother that stays home all day and just waits on her husband and kids all day, like a servant. I wanna experience things, I'm not saying that I'm not happy to do some of them sometimes, I'm ok with it cause that’s what mothers do. But I really wanna do something, something with my life. With my time, something that I can show.
I was thinking about KFC, but I don’t know it I will be happy there cause of all the boys that work there, its seem like such a sad job, I mean maybe I will like it, but I would rather work at costco but I know you will say no, I know that already, but I want you to think about it. I know it will be hard, expecually on you cause I will work weekends, but this is something I wanna try, I don’t know I might not like it but I might, I never know. But I just wanna do something. Something with my life.
I know im not good at saying it in words, and you might not exactly understand the way that I feel. But pls try to, pls pls consider it, if not there, can you look up a places that’s good 4 me.
Even if I just work there for a few months. And we can reevaluate it. I don’t know. I just feel like I need to get this off my chest. Txs for listening . I love you.
Morning Babe…
I know that it hasn’t been easy for you as well. In fact, I know that it’s probably been harder for you than it has for me. Of course, it has been tough for me, and you know because I tell you and I write it in my blog. Thank you that despite it not being in your nature you took the time to write down how you feel. It means so much to me, and it helps me understand.
I want you to know that I do understand how you feel. I can feel the same way you do sometimes too—how I need to flap my wings a little and see the world more. Let’s do it together, ‘cause we both want to. Let’s help each other do it.
It might be difficult for me to take care of the kids while you work at Costco on the weekends, but if it’s something you feel would be good for you, I WANT you to go for it. I want you to know that though it isn’t my first preference, neither are many of the things I do your first preference. It’s one of the reasons I am here for, baby, to help you accomplish your goals. I want to do that. Please let me. And if Costco doesn’t work out, then I’ll help you to get somewhere else.
Don’t worry about me so much. I’ll be alright. At the end of this life I will look back and regret not having done the things that make you happy. I wanna look back and know that I made you happy. I wanna do that every day.
I know that it hasn’t been easy for you as well. In fact, I know that it’s probably been harder for you than it has for me. Of course, it has been tough for me, and you know because I tell you and I write it in my blog. Thank you that despite it not being in your nature you took the time to write down how you feel. It means so much to me, and it helps me understand.
I want you to know that I do understand how you feel. I can feel the same way you do sometimes too—how I need to flap my wings a little and see the world more. Let’s do it together, ‘cause we both want to. Let’s help each other do it.
It might be difficult for me to take care of the kids while you work at Costco on the weekends, but if it’s something you feel would be good for you, I WANT you to go for it. I want you to know that though it isn’t my first preference, neither are many of the things I do your first preference. It’s one of the reasons I am here for, baby, to help you accomplish your goals. I want to do that. Please let me. And if Costco doesn’t work out, then I’ll help you to get somewhere else.
Don’t worry about me so much. I’ll be alright. At the end of this life I will look back and regret not having done the things that make you happy. I wanna look back and know that I made you happy. I wanna do that every day.
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