5.Journal

For a rare occasion, this morning I awoke void of contemplative thoughts, which translates into a head-start to my day. The usual day consists of dealing with my troubled mind at the start of it, followed by an 8+ hour work day, a job that I've been doing for the past 3 years and am possibly the best at in my company of 100+ people. 

As a New Year resolution, I've determined that ONE: I need a new and bigger challenge. Taking the risky dive, I turned in my 30 day notice, and have notified my company of my withdrawal. I haven't yet found my next promise of employment, and I am apprehensive of the future being fully aware of my responsibility as a father of 3, but with a dozen realistic plans of action I am confident that we'll do fine. 

More important than that is TWO: my determined desire to give my kids the best Christmas and New Years yet, that I wouldn't be able to if I continued at my present company. THREE: Next after that is my pursuit of a higher standard of living, that I want to give my very best shot at attaining this New Year. I'm a father of 3, but I'm one at my prime with possibly the most drive, ambition, and determination than I've ever had before. I feel strongly that this is the right time to give my dreams a chance. Maybe the only right time.

What's my dream? 

A bigger and nicer house for my wife and children. A job that brings in more than what we spend. Working hours that gives me time to spend with my family. Work that doesn't stress me out and occupy my thoughts to a point that I'm mentality incapable of the big responsibility of husband and father. Time every week after fulfilling my marital and child-rearing initiatives to spend with friends, which is integral for personal happiness and self-esteem. 

Indeed, that sounds like the perfect life, but is it really? I'm not asking to be able to live on the most exotic island with all the best and most popular people in the world, in a self-designed resort of the fanciest kind, cars, hotels, businesses, and servants at my command. I'm not even asking for a money machine that literally pumps money into my bank while I'm on a perpetual (if not) life-long vacation. I'm not asking to be problem-free, the most handsome of people in the entire world with the hottest sexiest wife. 

And god, I could go on. But, what I outlined for my dream is a realistic balanced life that would bring happiness and health that we all deserve if we're diligent and hardworking. 

I'm willing to work for it, but not forever and undetermined. I don't wish on shooting stars, but hope on the here and now. I will struggle till my dying day to fulfill my purpose in life.

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! I wish you the best.