Attempt at wise words

  In the stillness of the morning, where peace and tranquility abound, there still comes a time not too late that the quietness is shattered by screams and cackles of brightly awakened children. The life of a family man and a mother of 2+ is not a life to be sought for unless ready.
  I know we sometimes both don't feel ready, though perhaps more-so for you than for me. But then as a wise man once said, "No one feels ready."

Letter from Fay

Written: 10'19

  Hi baby. Txs for all you do for us, I know you have been going through it this past year with all the changes and the way we had to adjust our lives, and as you being the man of the house, I know you have had the pressure and the burden to provide for us. And you have. You have done so without murmuring  or complaining. For that I am so happy, so happy to be on this path, this journey with someone that I love and is so responsible to take care of us. 

  Even though you are so young you don’t seem that young, you seem like someone that has been though a lot in his younger years and has experienced lot's of things. And now you know what you want. You have a way of just getting things done if you think you need to improve in that area. You also have a way to let things out if you are going through something. But me, I don’t really have a way to let things out.  Im not good at talking or writing how I feel, so I just keep it all inside and then when I'm about to burst I cry and cry, cause I don’t have people to talk to.

   I wanna be more busy; to not be lazy. I feel like I should be doing more to make money for us, to be able to save up money for the things that we need. Or want.

   But there are so many things that I haven’t done b4, and im a bit scared. I wanna get a job, but I know it has to be the way you want it. It has to fit into your schedule.  You want it to be like this and like that, but I wanna flap my wings a bit and really do what I wanna, the way others out there do it. I don’t wanna be a mother that stays home all day and just waits on her husband and kids all day, like a servant. I wanna experience things, I'm not saying that I'm not happy to do some of them sometimes,  I'm ok with it cause that’s what mothers do.  But I really wanna do something, something with my life. With my time, something that I can show.

  I was thinking about KFC, but I don’t know it I will be happy there cause of all the boys that work there, its seem like such a sad job, I mean maybe I will like it,  but I would rather work at costco but I know you will say no, I know that already, but I want you to think about it. I know it will be hard, expecually on you cause I will work weekends, but this is something I wanna try, I don’t know I might not like it but I might, I never know. But I just wanna do something. Something with my life. 

  I know im not good at saying it in words,  and you might not exactly understand the way that I feel. But pls try to, pls pls consider it, if not there, can you look up a places that’s good 4 me.

  Even if I just work there for a few months. And we can reevaluate it. I don’t know. I just feel like I need to get this off my chest. Txs for listening . I love you.

Oct.16--Letter from Fay

Happy Anniversary! Baby!

  I can't believe it has come around already so fast. It seems like it's only been a year or so from when we have met, but it has been 3 years, 3 whole years, we did it baby.

  In the 3 years that we have been together we have learned so much and have done so many things. I'm so glad that I could live them, learn them, and do them with you. You have made me feel so whole, so alive, so spcial. Thank you so much for making me feel special and for making us a real family. You mean so much to me even though I may not show it sometimes. But you know how I feel, in all the things that I do, even though I don't say it in words... I know you can feel, how I feel about you, sorry I don't say it as much as I should. Ahhh I'm so bad at expressing how I feel. Ahhh, sorry, anyways, I hope I can continue to make you happy. I like making you happy.

  I wanna make this day, another fun page in the memories of our lives. Let's have fun and have fun together and enjoy each other company. Let's open with another page for another year. A new year of learning and growing together. I'm confident we can do it together. We have already been doing good so far I think...
  Don't you? I'm sure we have lot's more to still learn. But we can do it! I'm sure of it.

                 I LOVE YOU! BABY!
                                 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Happy Anniversary!!