September 26, 2014
It's 7p.m on a Friday evening. This week around I tried a different approach to my routine. I didn't consume myself with tasks today. The results are both positive and negative. By not fixing the bicycles or taking the cars to have oil changes, or ticking off anything on my To-Do list other than washing and cleaning the cars, I might have put too much on Fay's plate.
I need to have a clear mind to think about the future and plan the steps our family needs to make to get to a place of financial and social security. Or does that not really matter?
Unlike in my previous life, I don't want to live from moment to moment, crossing bridges when I get to them, not projecting far enough forward to prevent whatever negative circumstances that I can. Another thing that has changed is that I'm not a perfectionist. I don't expect life to be peachy, or that I will always make the right choices. But I hold onto what a wise man once told me, "You gotta try to make good choices."
I gotta try, even if I fail.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
17. Journal
September 19, 2014
It's 7p.m on my day off, and I'm finally relaxed. That's after a full day of ticking off To-Do lists--work and personal (sending my kids off to school, take my baby to the park, have a little work-out, fix the bicycle, call to negotiate an unfair payment request, sort through a week's worth of paperwork, organize a few years worth of insurance documents, contracts, and receipts, and finally, call the handyman to do a few fix-its in the house)--God, I don't want to have to call this a day off.
I have a few moments of calm while my kids are at English school, and I'm drowning myself in a TV series called "Suits," suggested to me by someone of my nature. I can learn a thing or two about this, like shrewdness and occasional ruthlessness.
It's 7p.m on my day off, and I'm finally relaxed. That's after a full day of ticking off To-Do lists--work and personal (sending my kids off to school, take my baby to the park, have a little work-out, fix the bicycle, call to negotiate an unfair payment request, sort through a week's worth of paperwork, organize a few years worth of insurance documents, contracts, and receipts, and finally, call the handyman to do a few fix-its in the house)--God, I don't want to have to call this a day off.
I have a few moments of calm while my kids are at English school, and I'm drowning myself in a TV series called "Suits," suggested to me by someone of my nature. I can learn a thing or two about this, like shrewdness and occasional ruthlessness.
Monday, September 8, 2014
16. Journal
September 19, 2014
My best friend and I went to a hot spring the other day, and apart from the trivial topics we chatted about, we talked about beliefs. It dawned on me in our conversation that I am the ever-changing man as usual.
The last time I checked 5 or 6 years back, I was the devout Christian and he was the unsure one. Now, it's as if the tables have turned. He reads Christian books and listens to Christian pastors, while I read up on business and success stories and listen to Celtic music.
Where did the tide change, I wonder? Did it change when I got too busy to think about the meaning of life; when I settled my thoughts on being the family man; when all of my energy and efforts went toward my family? I told him that I write journals while listening to Celtic music. He told me that it's kinda' trippy.
The truth is, I do think that I'm a bit of a trippy character. Lol! I always have big plans and dreams. I'm always thinking and writing and expressing. I'm always wishing on a shooting star. If a ton of people are walking one way, I walk the other. In a crowd, I'm often the only one trying to get out. And I wear a hat even when it's not sunny. I seem to have a reflex that rejects doing things that everyone else is doing. I hate getting swept out to sea with the rip tide, or washing up to shore like drift wood. I want to ride on the waves, to choose the waves, and enjoy the waves, so to speak.
My best friend and I went to a hot spring the other day, and apart from the trivial topics we chatted about, we talked about beliefs. It dawned on me in our conversation that I am the ever-changing man as usual.
The last time I checked 5 or 6 years back, I was the devout Christian and he was the unsure one. Now, it's as if the tables have turned. He reads Christian books and listens to Christian pastors, while I read up on business and success stories and listen to Celtic music.
Where did the tide change, I wonder? Did it change when I got too busy to think about the meaning of life; when I settled my thoughts on being the family man; when all of my energy and efforts went toward my family? I told him that I write journals while listening to Celtic music. He told me that it's kinda' trippy.
The truth is, I do think that I'm a bit of a trippy character. Lol! I always have big plans and dreams. I'm always thinking and writing and expressing. I'm always wishing on a shooting star. If a ton of people are walking one way, I walk the other. In a crowd, I'm often the only one trying to get out. And I wear a hat even when it's not sunny. I seem to have a reflex that rejects doing things that everyone else is doing. I hate getting swept out to sea with the rip tide, or washing up to shore like drift wood. I want to ride on the waves, to choose the waves, and enjoy the waves, so to speak.
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